Here's what happens when I'm not looking.

Its really not so bad considering he's wearing a helmet.

They constructed the moving vehcile by dismantling a semi truck that held matchbox cars.

Guess who had the grand idea?
Do you like how he calls it a "loom" instead of a luge?

Dinner with the Jones'

Ahh there is a chill in the air and that means its soup season. I love soup. Its so....homey.

This night I made some Minestrone with lots of pasta in it for the kids.

I always include homemade rolls for dunking

And 5lbs. of cheese for taste.

plus maybe a dose of Miralax for later

Its....complicated

Chapter 1

The last few weeks Emily has been having the time of her life. Each night after homework Jeff takes her and her dog Molly hunting. Its great fun because Molly retrieves whatever they shoot. They bring home robins, sparrows, and finally (in her words) "the worst bird ever created", a magpie. She hates magpies because someone somewhere told her that they peck at horses and give them diseases which kill the horses.

Which is probably true but still....

Chapter 2

After bringing home her kill she brings up preserving it. Otherwise known as stuffing and mounting.

sidebar: where did this kid come from? I was NOT like this as a child or an adult. I loathe guns.

I try to pacify the child by telling her that I will look up a taxidermist in the phone book and call them in the morning, however I was lying through my teeth. I wasn't going to call any taxidermist nor will I ever.

I don't think stuffed magpie matches my decor.

Chapter 3

The next day upon arriving at home she bombards me with questions about my call to the taxidermist.

"Uh, Em nobody answered their phone. Its probably because its hunting season and they are busy." I didn't call.

The next day the same questions. This kid isn't letting it go. So I pull this one out...

"Yeah Em, I uh, I actually talked to one and they said they don't do magpies because they are too small to stuff." I didn't call.

pretty good, pretty good I think

Emily: "mom that's not true because I talked to Carlos and he stuffs all kinds of things and he said he'd do it. I have his address."

Huh?

Well too wonderful bad it was garbage day. That thing is gone.

Epilogue

Two things here:

1. Don't critique my parenting because I let her shoot live birds. Look in the sky, there are lots of them. A few less isn't hurting anyone. I'm not letting her take aim at dogs or cats or anything that could make a difference in society.

2. I find it extremely odd that my husband who became a vegetarian is teaching her this stuff. Its not just the hunting with Em though. He took a day off of work to go deer hunting in the mountains, fully outfitted in camo. I tried to get a picture but he ran too fast.
The Vegetarian Hunter.

Its complicated.

In the news

Here is a picture of Jeff crossing the finish line. We found this in the Deseret News.

He is in the black and white next to the old guy.

LOTOJA

      This year I decided to opt out of Lotoja. One reason has to do with me being on antibiotics which cause my trips to the bathroom to be more frequent. The other reason doesn't take much thought to figure out....lets just say that I've given the bike a girls name and he spends as much time with it as he would a mistress. Only its better for me cause I know there are no diseases involved.  At this point in the weekend I can clearly see that I made a huge mistake in staying home. My kids have caused me to have a bit of an emotional breakdown.

Thank goodness for Abby. She has only whined a minimal amount. Now, if I could only get her to brush her teeth twice a day I'd have the ideal child.

Lets talk about Gil. Everyone knows that when Jeff is around the kid is a saint. When Jeff is gone Garretts evil twin appears. On his way out Jeff had a big talk with him and told him that he was the "man" of the house while he was gone. Probably thinking that by saying this Gil would be less whiny. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong! The second Jeff left Gilly started grounding everyone and with his new authority he became a bit of a dictator. It took lots of time to undo the trauma he caused the girls.

Here we are making a sign to put on the garage.

If you'll notice what Dip and Dot are doing with their feet....

If you need me in the next few hours I'll be seeking the advice of a good medical doctor. And yes, I'm insisting that Jeff foot the bill for my spa getaway. I need a bit of refreshing.

Other points of interest: We had a humming bird fly into our house. We used some nets and caught it but it took some fast handy work to wrestle the net away from Em as she wanted to keep the poor, scared bird.

camping

Remember this?

Well Lava was a little bit more of a step up this time. We had a camp site right by the rivers edge which was nice. We could people watch right from our tents.

Gil ended up sick on Friday, the day we left. Guess who slept with Gil to make sure he was ok? Guess who caught that sickness! Besides that the trip was a success...sort of. We had a blast tubing and making fires but because our neighbors were 3 feet away from us they tended to wake us up at the daily 4am wood chopping session.

Seriously

Who chops wood that early?

I was so exhausted from Gil breathing in my ear all night and being woke up from the lumber jacks that I failed to take any pictures.

Needless to say everyone left a day early.

I think in the back of everyones mind was a comfortable bed, showers, and a quiet night.

Jeff and I got a few minutes to ourselves as we headed to Fat Jacks (the closest thing to a Maui onion ring I've come across).  On our walk he asked if I liked this camping trip. My reply was this: "Um, I love being with the Wallies and Johnica but next time lets all go to the Ritz in Laguna Nigel. Remember those flowers?"

I am so done with camping. Its the dirty feet and itchy head. Michele made fun of me for bringing my straight iron.

And lastly my favorite quote from B. Beach

"why pretend like your homeless when you work hard all day to pay your mortgage?"

Amen Brother Beach. Amen.

Dinner with Gilly

 I decided to incorporate Gill in the kitchen.

In other words he was bored and I was trying to teach him how to make garlic bread.

So have you ever seen this? Black spaghetti? Its regular spaghetti only dyed with squid ink. I was terribly nervous. I hate anything fish (unless its deep fried, I can handle halibut but only with lots of tartar sauce).

After we got the water boiling I caught my assistant chef eating rice krispy treats. Obviously he was nervous about the squid ink too.

As I was stirring the sauce and noodles I felt someone blow in my ear. Gil was on the counter. I turned and saw this straw concoction. He said he needed a drink and couldn't reach it. Really Jeff  Gil?

He was trying to get my attention by blowing in my ear. He then asked if I would fill up a bowl for him so he could do this:

I made everyone at least try the noodles, they tasted like regular noodles but everyone was a bit grossed out at the color. I owe the success of the meal to Chef Gilly.

This is totally unrelated to this post other than the spaghetti sauce on his face but I had to post it cause I think he looks like a little monkey.

And my life alters....

Oh I missed this kid today....

This is a pile of school supplies...I was so tired after racing around trying to find the perfect everything that I just dumped it all and left it there for a few days.

 

Here are my three babies laying in bed waiting for me to turn on the TV after I served them breakfast in MY bed. Notice Em's wrapper (its from Taco Time for all the non-Utah folk)

Traditional first day picture...nice face your pulling Gilly (I could just make it easier and call him Jeff, they are the same person I think...one is just smaller)

This is Gil in his class. I asked him what his favorite thing about first grade was and he said, "that brown guy I sit next to."

Nice

Abby and Emily tried to pretend that the crazy lady in the hall waving her arms and crying wasn't their mother and they wouldn't look my way for me to take a picture of them.

Go figure....

Probiotics in their best form. I'm feeling sooo much better.

slowing down

So I've promised myself that I won't talk about my health...ever. I hate it because I always feel as if I'm soliciting sympathy. If you ask I'll tell but you won't get much more than "I'm doing pretty good". Right before I married Jeff and I was at my worst some of the closest people to me told Jeff not to marry me because of my health and the burden it would be on him. Well, by hell I'm not going to let that be a factor in my marriage. I have a wonderful, sympathetic mother who I tell everything to as soon as I get a diagnosis and a fabulous husband who I don't even let come to my colonoscopys but has essentially given me something to laugh about which has been a main factor in the healing process. Plus he's Jeff, if you've not met him you won't get it but if you have you know that I'm just about the luckiest woman ever. Oh, plus he's hot.  

The reason I'm posting about my health now is this: I'm getting old. I need to slow it down. This was told to me today by my Gastroenterologist (not the old part) because I have Whooping Cough (which is causing me to throw up, normally I could handle this but I'm on week 8. Sadly it hasn't helped my girth) and C Diff (an infection in my bowel from the antibiotics) and I have to up my Crohns meds to slow the flow.

I have always been a slow person..I like to take life in stride but this summer has kicked my butt. I'm poor, tired and sick.

In other words: I'm soliciting your sympathy.

Today I...

Drove go-carts

Won a race with Em next to me laughing (the best feeling a mom can have)...

Hit the jackpot on a video game with Em next to me laughing...

Witnessed a grand mal tantrum from Gil not winning fore mentioned race...

Maybe flirted with a Boondocks worker for letting my kids ride even though they didn't meet height requirements...(jeff does this all the time...but with females)...

Walked around smelling like exhaust...

Played lazer tag with two Australians...

Ate terrible pizza...

and....

Paid $80.00 (in game tokens) for a $10.00 lava lamp

it was worth it

I got me some Aussies here.

Thats as close to Flight of The Conchords as I'm gonna get folks.

grrrrrrrrrrr....

Guess what?

We just got home from vacation and somebody has kicked in our fence.

That means my two pooches got out.

That also means they got caught by the dog catcher and they are in dog jail.

I'm sure the bail to get them out is going to be pricey....

I guess I need to call Dog the Bounty Hunter.

no pun intended

I'm glad I'm somewhat young-ish

In the past 20 days I have:

gone to Las Vegas

gone to Hawaii

gone to California

and now I'm going to Sun Valley, Idaho

Seriously, I unpack, wash, pack again.

Jeff is riding Seattle to Portland so I'm doing this last one without assistance in getting ready

I am tired

but more importantly my kids are tired

We were supposed to go to Lagoon today and they opted to stay home.

The Lord is on my side folks.

Hawaii 2010

So since I only had the camera on my phone these pictures are very small and not the greatest quality. Jeff had the good camera on his trip to the Grand Canyon with the kids...a post on that will come later (hopefully from him). We (Monica and I) stayed in Ko'olina with Monicas family who gave us the red carpet treatment. Most days we sat in the sun posting to Monicas facebook without her knowing. I have lots of love in my heart for the Tapia's, they kept me laughing and tolerated my oddities. They have three funny girls who really liked playing with my phone....thus the result of the next two pictures. Bubba (above) and Elle (below)
I loved going on walks with these two and finding the small things only kids find interesting...fallen baby coconuts, dead birds, fallen flowers, and an odd assortment of leaves both dead and alive. As everyone knows I can't resist taking kids to the store to let them buy whatever they want so I snuck them to ABC and we had a grand ole time! One of the greatest things about having older kids is that you really have fun with little ones.

This is on the North Shore where it had been raining but the sun broke through while we were dining outside. After we stopped at a McDonalds (really?) to try a fried apple pie which Monica ended up regurgitating. Why is it that every time I'm in Hawaii someone from the Phelps family throws up? Anyway.....

My favorite view on my favorite resort...
If you've never put a bare foot on the grass in Hawaii you are missing out.

On fathers day Melanie scouted out this great place. Don't recognize it? Ever watched Dog the Bounty Hunter? This is his place and around the corner is a sub par gift shop with a really grouchy lady who tried to squeeze herself into her trashy outfit. It was fun.

The reason for my love of the island: Maui onion rings.
I also found this trip benefiting because due to the rare pearl I found I am going to be very very prosperous. It was rare, very rare.