Drugs and the conversations that go with them

Abby is learning about all kinds of drugs in 6th grade.

For one of her homework assignments she had to teach the family about them and come up with

a family rule.

Here is the conversation that ensued:

Abby: The first thing is tobacco (this is pretty much all Abby gets to say in this conversation)

Jeff: Do you know what tobacco is?

Emily: Oh, I know. Isn't it some sauce that's spicy? Or something like that.

Jeff: No, its whats in cigarettes and it causes cancer. You know Grandma? She's had cancer (and an extremely long winded Jeff continues to go off on a small tangent about how cancer affected his family. I sympathize but I've also noticed the clock and how we are 15 minutes past bedtime. I start to sweat a little in my armpits thinking about bedtime and how if they don't go to bed on time they wont wake up happy and there goes my day).

Emily: So Grandma used to smoke?

Me: NoGrandmadidn'tusedtosmokeletsmoveon.
Jeff: No, Grandma didn't used to smoke, all kinds of people can get cancer. Lets move on.

Garrett raises his hand

Garrett: Uh, dad, what did you used to play with when you were a kid? Were you ever bored?

Me: (under my breath) crap

Jeff: I was NEVER bored. I played trains or built forts. I played soccer or with my horses. I played with my trucks and diggers..........(it goes on and on but for the sake of a lengthy post we'll stop)

Me: Well, well. Lookie here. Wasn't he lucky? The only toy I got to play with is the cat poop in the sand box. Well, that and a stick if I was lucky.

Garrett: (rubbing my back) Mom, I feel so sad for you. Your only toy was poop?

Me: Abby whats next?

Abby: Alcohol is next, it kills brain cells

Garrett: What is a brain cell?

Emily: a cell is this little thing that has its own brain. Like when you itch your head and you have dandruff, thats dead cells.

Garrett: So alcohol is going to give me DANDRUFF? (horrified)

Jeff: Well, let me tell you a story about alcohol...............

And it went on. Me feeling guilty for rushing this very important conversation. But seriously? If I didn't hear kids sleeping soon I was going to have my own alcohol story.

I decided to take a xanax and let the conversation flow...just kidding. I didn't have the energy to walk into the bathroom to get one.

Drugs...a very interesting topic at the Jones household.

PS...in all reality we decided to continue the homework assignment when time was on our side, like tomorrow evening at 6. With Jeff-ipedia we need a few hours.