My kids are trying to kill me

Today was the first day I went to a permanent job after 7.6 years of being a full time mom. That is the first line of a story about how my kids are trying to kill me.

The school year is coming to an end and that means homework is pretty much over. If you ask my kids, that is what they will tell you until 9pm on the last day of a long weekend. Two of them gave me a long list of things that needed done before 8:30am. One of which was to prepare an authentic Swiss meal. At 9pm. The other needed a white shirt to tie dye. Let me tell you right here that I had been to Wal-mart Friday, Saturday, and Monday without a mention of either of these projects.

This morning as I'm boiling spaetzel and cutting Emmentaler and Gruyere (I repeatedly asked Jeff to cut the cheese and he kept trying to fart not realizing that I meant literally) I walked into the bathroom where Garrett Beiber was cutting his hair with my sewing scissors. He is trying to grow it out but there is always a random lock of hair that is out of place and his solution is to just cut it. You know what? I didn't even care. I simply pointed out that he was parting it on the wrong side and quickly hid the scissors.

Then after I have cooked up a 7 course Swiss meal (that cost me more than a Dr. appointment to stop the nervous tick I now have) I went to my new job.

I miss working.

But in all honesty, that last line is a big fat lie.