The Boy Who Could Sleep Anywhere.......

Except his own bed!!!

Seriously, we have a problem. Garrett won't go to sleep in his own bed, he has to fall into his slumber either in our bed or wherever he may be when his eyeballs grow weary. Which is fine. That is not my problem, my problem lies in what happens at about 2am, the hour that I usually find myself sharing a pillow with the worlds worst night breather. I mean even ear plugs don't drown it out. I guess that is why, for the past four years (give or take) I have been shuffling all my belongings out to my second bedroom, the living room. Please, some advice? And its not as easy as you might think....if we move him back to his bed, in 10 minutes he is back sharing the pillow.

sidenote: okay I'll admit that I have let this go on way to long but he is my baby and he gets away with it because every so often when he opens his eyes and sees me he'll do some endearing thing like put his hand on my face or say "oh mom, your so pwetty".

He got one!

No, not Jeff, my next door neighbor Ken who is a "hunter extraordinaire". Next to Ken, Jeff and John look like Dumb and Dumber (Jeff being Jim Carey and John being Jeff Daniels).
I did however, get a call and all is well. It went a little like this:

Jeff: "So, we saw this Elk, it was the biggest thing....blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, (10 minutes of blahs) and we got our guns out....blah, blah, blah.....and we shot! blah, blah, blah, then we walked up to where it fell, and wouldn't you know it, it was GONE! Can you believe it? What a waste!!! Don't you think?"

Me:"Uh, wh-huh? (pinching my arm to try and rouse myself from a coma-like state) Are you talking about the last 20 minutes or the hunt in general? I'd have to agree on both."

So as the hunt draws to a close at the Jones house, I am happy to say that there is NO deer, NO Elk, and hopefully a husband who is finished trying to shoot little furry defenseless animals.

The man-sleepover begins....

Today is the day that Jeff and John have been waiting for, its the day of the

Man Sleepover!

(Thank you Monica for that terminology)

A man sleepover is what you call two men who take air mattresses and Clorox wipes with them on the hunt. We all know that I do not approve of this hunt especially when they are going to a place called "poison grove" (yes I made sure his life insurance is paid up). I think Em was just as excited as Jeff is because she is certain that he will bring home a buck that we can mount and put in her room to hang her fishing pole on (sometimes I wonder if I contributed to her DNA). So if you see me looking completely frazzled (because the kids and I don't have the class clown here to even things out) please take pity on me and reassure me that he isn't that great of an aim.

Sunday night at the Parkway

Last night we took advantage of the newest addition to Utah, the Legacy Parkway. No, we didn't drive it, we biked it. As far as bike trails go it was pretty good and the kids had a riot riding over the bridges and seeing the cows up close. Overall I'd rate it as a four out of five star event. The funnest part was observing Garrett trying to keep up with the girls and Jeff, his little legs were just a pumping away and it reminded me of watching the Tour De France guys sprinting over the finish line. One thing is for certain....we definitely have a family that loves to cycle! Now if I could just get Jeff to buy me that Pee Wee Herman bike that I covet........

Wednesday night with the Rat

This blog entry is far better than anything I will ever be able to write, please check it out. Plus I forgot my camera.

What in the *%$@! was I thinking?

Have you ever done something so Dumb that you question the condition of your mind? Take tonight for example....Jeff is out scouting a good spot to deer hunt and won't be back for a day (which frankly I don't understand, we don't even eat meat around here) and its the kids school carnival. In my mind: Oh we will have so much fun and dad won't be there to put a damper on the spending! Yaaaay!

In reality: Get me the hell out of this demon infested hole.

It started out with a pep talk in the car about no whining and sticking by each other and the great fun that is to be had. 5 minutes later there was much whining and running off and I couldn't find the fun. We stood in line for face painting for one complete hour (I am alone with no other adult to assist with my hungry children).
The face painting turned out really cute as you can see...
with Em as a cat, Abby with some squiggles, and Gil as a pirate....
A very angry pirate that wiped his face with his hands the second they finished because he was mad (remember we stood in line for an hour for this) and then continued (in his tantrum state) to wipe his face on my NEW white shirt that I chose to wear. Remember as a child when you'd give your sibling an Indian burn by gripping their arm and rubbing it in opposite directions? I wanted to do that to him. Being in this state of mind is bad. It is in this state of mind that I visualize a very small pill some of us know as Xanax.
The thing that pulled me out of it? Seeing this lady who really must like brown. I mean who wears all brown? She could've at least thrown in a pair of white ankle socks to give us some depth.

Dear Friend in Africa...

Em's rough draft letter to her pen pal in Africa:

Who Dunnit?

Me: Um, Garrett, would you please come here? Did you do this?

G: Nope.

Me: If you didn't do it than who did? Jason? Don't even try that one on pal.

G: I fink it was Jack.

Me: Come on buddy, Jack hasn't even been over to our house, you did this didn't you?

G: Nope, I didn't do that mom.

Me: Do you know what happens when we lie? We get a big black mark up in heaven. You don't want a black mark do you?

G: I really like black mom. But I didn't do it.

And its still on the door because I can't bring myself to scrub it off.

Map reading 101

So Michele and I started out on our adventure. We were ready to capture images of our husbands as they crossed the finish line and fill the image in our heads of being the perfect wives, cheering them on. As you can clearly see, our trip was marked out with highlighter and we were anticipating a nice 4 hour drive. After about 2 of those hours we decided to pull off the beaten path and take a potty break. After almost purchasing a ream of Alpaca hair for Em (it is really soft and they sold it at the gas station) we were back on the road again only to notice that Twin Falls was just mere miles away. Now I know you can't see my little map below to well but Twin Falls is about two inches west of our highlighted line. What we really needed was a CB. Thankfully we figured things out and got back on the highlighted line but it added an extra 2.5 hours to our trip. bummer. This little lady was in the bathroom of the Alpaca stocked gas station. I'm thinking of getting it framed.
Since we added some extra time to our drive we missed the boys crossing the finish line. This is the only picture I got of Jeff. I think I was too busy wondering if our hotel had a nice comfortable bed (it didn't) to rest my aching bum (I didn't drive the Pilot because we were trying to be economical and the white car gets better gas mileage. The white car is also 13 years old and the seats don't accommodate my bottom like the Pilot but hey, we saved like $2.14 in gas).
Jeff did great by the way. He shaved off time from last years ride but due to how they grouped the relay teams (long explanation here: last year they grouped the relay teams according to how many people were relaying...two guys is one category, three guys is a different category, etc. Well this year they had so many relay teams enter that they just put them all in the same category) his team placed 24th where last year they placed 5th. But overall everyone was quite happy even if they didn't get a free T-shirt like last time.
My favorite: Gill Ave. Maybe we'll move here.

And not to be Connie Complainer here but I picked up Streptococcus from Gilly (not Gilly Ave, Gilly boy) and it hit me hard the morning after the race. So as we were whizzing through Idaho Falls we spotted these big Osprey nests at the top of the power lines. I snapped a pretty good picture in my febrile state. I don't think I want to ride Lotojaho next year. But GO JEFF!

Lotoja

Its that time of year again! Jeff has been training for the Lotoja (that is LO-TA-JA, Logan to Jackson Hole so I think it should be Lotojaho). Its a 206 mile journey and here is the map of what he will ride: And here are the elevation peaks. (My suggestion is NOT to bring this up with him unless you have an extra hour on your hands for him to explain CO2 levels and stuff). So he rides on a relay team of four guys and guess who is riding the two legs that are the highest climbs?
After looking at that I can understand his look of utter disgust when I complain that the ride (in the car) on the way up wore me out and I just want to get some rest.

Off to Miss Evelyns!

Tuesday turned into a little slice of heaven for me. Why? Gill started preschool. Here he is getting ready to bike over (please note that he has his helmet on): We all know how fast he likes to ride (re: trip to the ER last Thursday morning but that is a different post for a different day) so I was relieved that he didn't zoom into the intersection.
And here he is playing with some blocks before the hard work begins
And the reason I felt so great about it? He has been a little bit of a jerk lately. Throwing fits in the morning and afternoon (as soon as Jeff gets home he is Mr. Nice Guy). In fact right before school he kicked a stack of towels over because he couldn't get his hair to go just right. He is 4. My girls don't even act like that.
(I really did shed a few inner tears but I got over that as I was waltzing through the library BY MYSELF)

School....

The girls started school on Monday, each displaying their interdependency by picking out their own clothes and hair styles. I kind of had a hard time with that one. They each have super fantastic teachers this year, Emilys spent the summer in Africa teaching 2nd grade kids and Em comes home with outrageous Baboon stories (if you know Em, this is right up her alley). Her teacher also set it up so that each kid has an African pen pal. Way excited, maybe we can get Rachel a baby. And this is what Garrett has been up to while the girls are away.....

teaching his chick how to skate board. Poor chick.

clogs and shins

While shopping for school clothes we stumbled upon these beauties:
They are cute but the reason for this post is the great story that dates back 30 years. When Jeff was a wee lad his sisters Jen and Jill wore clogs just like these and whenever Jeff fell out of line or got on a nerve, wham, a clog to the shin (please remember that this is Jeff we are talking about and I"m sure that he egged them on to the nth degree). When we go shoe shopping and he sees a pair of shoes like these he literally flinches and locks up in the fetal position. Oh, was I tempted to buy these (too bad I'm such a cheap skate). Anyway, heres to you Jen and Jill, your love is forever imprinted on Jeffs shins!

our ONLY vacation this summer

Yeah, too bad I forgot the camera.

I decided that we REALLY needed to get away for a night or two before school started and with the price of gasoline Jeffs family cabin in Sun Valley was out of the question. So we quickly packed our car full of pillows and more pillows and lots of stuffed animals (have I mentioned that Abby is a pack rat?) and headed off to my moms cabin up in the Uinta Mountains. On the short drive up Garrett asked "Are we in Australia yet?" (I guess he thought we were on a different adventure that involved Aunt Jen, Uncle Darran, and a kangaroo or two). I was surprised that my children had never been around a bon fire or made Smores (yuck). We had such a blast and I am a little disappointed to find that my family got in touch with their red-neck side and LOVED spotting. Oh, you don't know what spotting is (and I'm not talking about what happens to most women)? It when you go find the biggest spot light you can find, amp up the wattage (having a brother that is an electrician on the trip helps), and drive around very late at night and shine that spot light in the poor animals eyes probably giving them a rash because they think they are on the brink of death. My kids lived for this adventure. They got to see deer (Em can tell you the difference between a buck and a doe), jack rabbits, elk, and a moose. We also brought out the red-neck and took up the BB gun. Guess who loves to shoot? Abby Nan Jones (I am still trying to get over seeing my girly-girl holding a weapon of mass destruction). We were so sad to have it end but I do love not having dirt in between my toes.

For anyone who still pulls up this blog...

Okay, its been two weeks since I've updated and I certainly have been slacking in my blog duties. I apologize, deeply. You see my creative juices haven't been flowing lately. Whether it be my children zapping all the life out of me or me trying to keep up with my families weird fetish with animals, I just haven't had time to blog and frankly, I feel terrible about it. Since my mouth is bigger than my ability to get my kids off the computer, I'm sure you all know about our new farm dog, Molly: She is quite cute. The best thing about her is that since we are part owners we don't have to have her full time. This means that my dear brother (who is childless at the moment) gets to potty train her and let her chew up his furniture (which she hasn't done, yet). We only take her when we can. I love partial custody pets.
And since my children think they need MORE pets I take them, on occasion, to the animal shelter.
Where we ended up with one more turkey, one more rooster, one more hen, and yes, four more chicks. Who knew that the animal shelter took in fowl? Apparently not I.